Love, Riah (My Very First Love Poem)

Ugghh.
Why? Why! Must You Make Me So So Angry?!
Like?
Why?
Why? Do we fight this way?
We orgasm at pushing each other's buttons?
 Did I push you this way?
Or were we pulled into the emotion?
Like.
You tiptoe on the floor of my heart.
and tug at the tiniest blood vessel that could possibly makes it
Burst.
But I clutch onto my heart.
Having faith in the fact I'll be saved.
One way or another.

I hope that they were right when they said
Don't fight the pull of the ocean.
For it will take you away with it.
But I try to manipulate it anyways.

But what have I done for you to see the clouds
Over my eyes?
Has not my happiness shone as a light.
A twinkle in my eyes?

I can no longer verbally declare...
Not, not that I ever have...
What I feel.
Just see it.
Look for it.
Then Look At It.

Love, Riah

Dear Riah, On Expression.

I have a friend. Everywhere he goes, he takes his computer. On his computer, he's either listening to music or writing: Whatever. Either way it goes. He's always in his own zone. When he is interracting with people, he's a little sporadic, a little emotional, he's quite the spotlight kind of person. A person that we all have to acknowledge but we don't always understand. Everywhere he goes, he takes his computer. He is in constant expression of himself. The weight of his thoughts is so heavy that he is always relieving himself. Whether we like it or not. Sometimes, this method, while natural, is ineffective. Being so into oneself is dangerous, and silly if we cannot simulatenously be aware of life around us. Now the first eleven sentences, are an example of a specific expression of an internal battle we all fight. Do not look at my friend as someone who is exempt from the norm. His expression is unique, as each of ours is, however we all express our selfishness and we all express our ignorance of each other. Next time you are expressing yourself, (and I often have to tell myself this) be aware of others and life around you. Learn how to be uncomfortable. Is every small feeling and thought worthy of expression? Do we always have to comfortable and live in a world where all physical and emotional situations suit our liking? The answer is: No.
Now, I understand this is hard. But where do you start. Do you start? I have. As of now, I carry my notebook everywhere, in certain social situations, it's my outlet, my escape, as my friend's computer. In some instances, it's my downfall. However, I am always aware of uncomfortable physical conditions. I do try my best, (now anyways, as a learning and growing individual) to deal with them a little more internally depending on the nature. Or. In life if I notice that a certain attitude towards the things of this world is rather careless, thoughtless, or selfish, I will try my best to either vocally recognize it or change my habits or way of living and thinking in order to make me a person that is more in sync with the world. Expression can be quiet, or. Expression can be loud. But it is of highest importance that expression is effective.