Ugghh.
Why? Why! Must You Make Me So So Angry?!
Like?
Why?
Why? Do we fight this way?
We orgasm at pushing each other's buttons?
Did I push you this way?
Or were we pulled into the emotion?
Like.
You tiptoe on the floor of my heart.
and tug at the tiniest blood vessel that could possibly makes it
Burst.
But I clutch onto my heart.
Having faith in the fact I'll be saved.
One way or another.
I hope that they were right when they said
Don't fight the pull of the ocean.
For it will take you away with it.
But I try to manipulate it anyways.
But what have I done for you to see the clouds
Over my eyes?
Has not my happiness shone as a light.
A twinkle in my eyes?
I can no longer verbally declare...
Not, not that I ever have...
What I feel.
Just see it.
Look for it.
Then Look At It.
Love, Riah
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Dear Riah, On Expression.
I have a friend. Everywhere he goes, he takes his computer. On his computer, he's either listening to music or writing: Whatever. Either way it goes. He's always in his own zone. When he is interracting with people, he's a little sporadic, a little emotional, he's quite the spotlight kind of person. A person that we all have to acknowledge but we don't always understand. Everywhere he goes, he takes his computer. He is in constant expression of himself. The weight of his thoughts is so heavy that he is always relieving himself. Whether we like it or not. Sometimes, this method, while natural, is ineffective. Being so into oneself is dangerous, and silly if we cannot simulatenously be aware of life around us. Now the first eleven sentences, are an example of a specific expression of an internal battle we all fight. Do not look at my friend as someone who is exempt from the norm. His expression is unique, as each of ours is, however we all express our selfishness and we all express our ignorance of each other. Next time you are expressing yourself, (and I often have to tell myself this) be aware of others and life around you. Learn how to be uncomfortable. Is every small feeling and thought worthy of expression? Do we always have to comfortable and live in a world where all physical and emotional situations suit our liking? The answer is: No.
Now, I understand this is hard. But where do you start. Do you start? I have. As of now, I carry my notebook everywhere, in certain social situations, it's my outlet, my escape, as my friend's computer. In some instances, it's my downfall. However, I am always aware of uncomfortable physical conditions. I do try my best, (now anyways, as a learning and growing individual) to deal with them a little more internally depending on the nature. Or. In life if I notice that a certain attitude towards the things of this world is rather careless, thoughtless, or selfish, I will try my best to either vocally recognize it or change my habits or way of living and thinking in order to make me a person that is more in sync with the world. Expression can be quiet, or. Expression can be loud. But it is of highest importance that expression is effective.
Now, I understand this is hard. But where do you start. Do you start? I have. As of now, I carry my notebook everywhere, in certain social situations, it's my outlet, my escape, as my friend's computer. In some instances, it's my downfall. However, I am always aware of uncomfortable physical conditions. I do try my best, (now anyways, as a learning and growing individual) to deal with them a little more internally depending on the nature. Or. In life if I notice that a certain attitude towards the things of this world is rather careless, thoughtless, or selfish, I will try my best to either vocally recognize it or change my habits or way of living and thinking in order to make me a person that is more in sync with the world. Expression can be quiet, or. Expression can be loud. But it is of highest importance that expression is effective.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Re-Thinking Law and Religion
Right now, I am studying to be a Social Studies teacher. I often think about what I would like to bring to the table as an educator. What difference do I want to make in the lives of the children that I will come into contact with? I realize that if I do not teach anything else, I would like to teach my children to be thinkers. Social Studies embodies geography, history, and government. As it is taught now, it is taught as fact. Geography teaches students that these are these continents, countries, states, cities, oceans and so forth. Period. Government teaches students that this is the law and this is how laws are made. Period.. History teaches students that this is what happened in your past. Period. What is missing in the social studies classroom is the intellectual involvement of the student. Each of these three subjects, are not facts set in stone. Rather they are human-made, thus imperfect and forever changing. It is the job of the educators, to make it apparent to their students that they must critically think and challenge the ideas that are presented in their textbooks as "fact"
Interestingly enough, I say all of this to bring me to my main thought concerning so-called separation of church and state. When our First Amendment is taught in school, it is taught as somthing that is good and right, as all the amendments are with the exception of the Second Amendment and students are almost never challenged to question the so-call greatness of our amendments. As it relates to the Second Amendment, students are taught that the Second Amendment was important in the days that it was written into the Constitution, but students are NOT taught the importance of our Second Amendment rights today. Sorry for my ramble, I'm going to get to the First Amendment now.
With all the war and strife over the differences between religions, we as people do not often think of religions as together with similar goals and similar philosophies. Rather we look at the specific differences and make them the most important part of religion. In reality most religions preach similar things as it relates to living one's life. They mostly say pray, respect your elders and your neighbors, don't lie, cheat or steal, and treat others as you want to be treated. Because of this thinking, America's founding fathers believed it was best for government to leave religion out equation. On the surface this is a fair appraisal of a situation, and seems to be the best idea. However we find that religion as a whole holds many awesome values, and when you separate religion from the laws that govern us, you in fact separate those values as well.
We also see in the people of this country, a disregard for the values that religions hold. One in particular, is clearly seen in the way we treat people. When we make mistakes and do things seen as inappropriate, our law would have us accuse these people, put them on trial, and then judge them. Many religions, would say that only God can judge them, forgive, and treat others as you would like to be treated. However, we find in most social situations, that we do as the law does us. We accuse and judge. This is just a thought. Thinking is living, so my lesson lived today is through my thoughts.
Interestingly enough, I say all of this to bring me to my main thought concerning so-called separation of church and state. When our First Amendment is taught in school, it is taught as somthing that is good and right, as all the amendments are with the exception of the Second Amendment and students are almost never challenged to question the so-call greatness of our amendments. As it relates to the Second Amendment, students are taught that the Second Amendment was important in the days that it was written into the Constitution, but students are NOT taught the importance of our Second Amendment rights today. Sorry for my ramble, I'm going to get to the First Amendment now.
With all the war and strife over the differences between religions, we as people do not often think of religions as together with similar goals and similar philosophies. Rather we look at the specific differences and make them the most important part of religion. In reality most religions preach similar things as it relates to living one's life. They mostly say pray, respect your elders and your neighbors, don't lie, cheat or steal, and treat others as you want to be treated. Because of this thinking, America's founding fathers believed it was best for government to leave religion out equation. On the surface this is a fair appraisal of a situation, and seems to be the best idea. However we find that religion as a whole holds many awesome values, and when you separate religion from the laws that govern us, you in fact separate those values as well.
We also see in the people of this country, a disregard for the values that religions hold. One in particular, is clearly seen in the way we treat people. When we make mistakes and do things seen as inappropriate, our law would have us accuse these people, put them on trial, and then judge them. Many religions, would say that only God can judge them, forgive, and treat others as you would like to be treated. However, we find in most social situations, that we do as the law does us. We accuse and judge. This is just a thought. Thinking is living, so my lesson lived today is through my thoughts.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Analogy of Love
I go to Kentucky State University. I am originally from Portsmouth, Virginia, but I moved to Washington, DC when I was about eleven or twelve. So when I refer to home, I am usually talking about DC. I am home for my summer break, and due to regentrification, there are a lot of buildings being torn down and a lot of buildings being built.
There's one buildingin particular on the corner of Southern Avenue and East Capitol St. in SE that I want to talk about. This building was recently torn down. It looked as if it was built in the 1960s or 1970s. It is about five or six stories high. In it's hay day I'm sure it was a place of hustle and bustle as there looked to be shops at the bottom, or at least at one time there was, not to mention it is across the street from Capitol Heights Metro Station. After a few years of being the center of hustle and bustle, it seems as if no one took care of it, and it probably became run down and dilapidated. The business probably scattered and the people left there probably hated it. This probably happened during the crack epidemic of the 80s and then the rise of gangs in the 90s. By the time I saw the building, it was completely dilapidated and abandoned, a shell of what it once was. Gang signs spray painted in red on the dirty white concrete walls, windows busted out, leaving the inside open to the elements, but from the outside we only see darkness. Now they have torn that building down. In it's place is a nice size field of green grass. Only the memory of the building remains, in fact, if I had not seen it with my own eyes I would not believe it ever stood. It's now closer to a figment of my imagination than any tangible place.
When I think of this building, interestingly enough, I think of love. Love is something that starts off beautiful, hustling, bustling, and full of life. Then if not taken care of, it becomes run down. Interestingly enough, like the building, love becomes run down when addiction sets in. Some kind of violence usually sets in afterwards. Eventually, love becomes just a shell of what it used to be. When love gets to that point the only way make it better is to tear down what existed and start with fresh green grass. Hopefully after one tears down their building of concrete love, they learn that love cannot be built, but it must be grown, and they grow something on the fresh green grass. The pain that existed within those concrete walls of love then comes crumbling down with the building and exists only as a memory. Only as a lesson lived.
There's one buildingin particular on the corner of Southern Avenue and East Capitol St. in SE that I want to talk about. This building was recently torn down. It looked as if it was built in the 1960s or 1970s. It is about five or six stories high. In it's hay day I'm sure it was a place of hustle and bustle as there looked to be shops at the bottom, or at least at one time there was, not to mention it is across the street from Capitol Heights Metro Station. After a few years of being the center of hustle and bustle, it seems as if no one took care of it, and it probably became run down and dilapidated. The business probably scattered and the people left there probably hated it. This probably happened during the crack epidemic of the 80s and then the rise of gangs in the 90s. By the time I saw the building, it was completely dilapidated and abandoned, a shell of what it once was. Gang signs spray painted in red on the dirty white concrete walls, windows busted out, leaving the inside open to the elements, but from the outside we only see darkness. Now they have torn that building down. In it's place is a nice size field of green grass. Only the memory of the building remains, in fact, if I had not seen it with my own eyes I would not believe it ever stood. It's now closer to a figment of my imagination than any tangible place.
When I think of this building, interestingly enough, I think of love. Love is something that starts off beautiful, hustling, bustling, and full of life. Then if not taken care of, it becomes run down. Interestingly enough, like the building, love becomes run down when addiction sets in. Some kind of violence usually sets in afterwards. Eventually, love becomes just a shell of what it used to be. When love gets to that point the only way make it better is to tear down what existed and start with fresh green grass. Hopefully after one tears down their building of concrete love, they learn that love cannot be built, but it must be grown, and they grow something on the fresh green grass. The pain that existed within those concrete walls of love then comes crumbling down with the building and exists only as a memory. Only as a lesson lived.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Appreciating My Peace
On this journey of life, sometimes we become complacent. We forget just how blessed we are. So then we are met with trials and tribulations. As we are going through these trials, we ask ourselves, "Why me?" and when it's over some of us still complain and others of us sit around and discuss how bad our lives are. Blah blah blah. Lately, life has been really rough. I have cried and asked myself and God "Why me?" But through it all I've learned a lot of valuable lessons. So many. Because I am still learning, I know I don't fully appreciate the full beauty in the lesson (as my friend from my previous blog helped me to see) but I do see the value more and more each day. When I do recieve my slithers of sunshine from time to time, I am SO grateful. I appreciate my peace so much more after the storm. While this may seem like an obvious concept, the feeling I have is not so obvious. Peace in my life is something, I have always taken for granted. So, I guess what I am trying to say is, count your blessings, and never take them for granted, because they could be gone tomorrow. That's my lesson lived today.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Purposeful Living
In life, we go through so many trials and tribulations. Some say to make us stronger. Still others say, it is to help us discover who we truly are. In the end, we all leave this place. What difference does it make if I leave strong knowing who I truly am? Is being strong and knowing one's self really worth the pain? Are my tears, sadness, and despair worth self discovery and strength? Why wouldn't I rather be happy and carefree, ignorant and weak?
Then again, I do always seek to be wise. Wisdom comes at a price. If I think of my trials as being something I must go through to be wise, then that thought alone should bring me comfort. If I believe that learning and growing are worth my tears, then the experience is not so meaningless. Then life is not so meaningless. Even though it must end. But I guess an end doesn't equal to worthlessness.
An end does not equal to worthlessness. Then what was the experience worth? Whether that experience be love, a party, or even life itself. If it must end then what was it worth when it is over? When do I find out whether my experience was worthwhile, or a waste? Can time be wasted? Does every happening of every second have meaning? Is it up to us to create or figure out that meaning? When and if we do, what does that change?
-Riah Lahren
Then again, I do always seek to be wise. Wisdom comes at a price. If I think of my trials as being something I must go through to be wise, then that thought alone should bring me comfort. If I believe that learning and growing are worth my tears, then the experience is not so meaningless. Then life is not so meaningless. Even though it must end. But I guess an end doesn't equal to worthlessness.
An end does not equal to worthlessness. Then what was the experience worth? Whether that experience be love, a party, or even life itself. If it must end then what was it worth when it is over? When do I find out whether my experience was worthwhile, or a waste? Can time be wasted? Does every happening of every second have meaning? Is it up to us to create or figure out that meaning? When and if we do, what does that change?
-Riah Lahren
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Choosing No Thing
All or nothing
And you chose
Nothing
I pray
For your sakes
You don't end up with
Nothing
But for now
I'm with
Nothing
Because my all chose
Nothing
-Riah Lahren
And you chose
Nothing
I pray
For your sakes
You don't end up with
Nothing
But for now
I'm with
Nothing
Because my all chose
Nothing
-Riah Lahren
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